I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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