is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
