are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
