Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
