He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
