Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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