dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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