she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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