I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
