I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
