I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
