I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
