white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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