I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
