Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
