kristin has been a bad kristin
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
