mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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