I puked a lego.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
