and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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