he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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