This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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