I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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