I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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