...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
