I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
