I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
