My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
