come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
