There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
