Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Welp...herpes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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