i think i have herpe
just one?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
