Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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