i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
