My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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