my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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