I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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