Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He passed out mid-signature
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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