Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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