And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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