I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
