Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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