i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
