I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
