hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
barbara walters just said penis...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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