Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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