Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
