I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
