Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
