By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
