I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
