I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
