I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
