Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
